Monday, September 26, 2011

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I am feeling so blue today.  I am not really sure why, I can feel the sadness creeping in my soul.   I have to work today so I will not be able to create.  Most of the time that takes the blues away and makes me feel much better.  I think it’s because I feel like I have accomplished something when I am finished.   Maybe it because it brings the joy out instead of the darkness lingering inside of me.   Have you ever heard that saying Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That is how I feel when I try to deal with my father.  I always want to say ,  you would give the shirt off your back for a stranger but wouldn’t  do anything  to help your own family.  I just don’t understand it.    But every time I think I will get a different reaction and I just keep disappointing myself.   After 56 years you would think I would learn.  But instead I set myself up for the rejection.  Now I have to wonder if there is something wrong with me or is the other person????  I’d be happy to hear any thoughts or comments on this subject.    

5 comments:

carlanda brown williamson said...

it's not you. you now need to decide on a different path and approach. maybe there is a reason for what happened last night and maybe there is something better, just around the next bend in the road. pray about it. love you. c

Just Me said...

No Marley, its not you. There is a site that I like visiting and they have a daily e-mail called "a little bird told me". http://bravegirlsclub.com/
I don't always read the e-mails, but when I do, sometimes it seems to be just what I needed at that time. I keep them all.

Steph said...

I am a bad friend, I should have been paying better attention, You are a wonderful smart and caring person who always makes me smile. I think we all at some point feel as though we are losing our way, but you will then realize that you are right where you need to be when you go ahhhh. Take care of you I am always here for you.

Steph

Marlene said...

Thank you all for leaving such kind and loving messages. I think I have worked thru it. But someitmes when it involves your parents it just seems like there should be unconditional love and at 56 I still feel like I need my parents approval and l love.l I am not sure why because I have a very supportive hushand who I know loves me no matter what I say do or have done in the past.

catherine mckean said...

Hi Marley, I have a couple of family members just like that. They seek approval from everyone around town by doing stuff for them but can't take the time to really engage with family. I am such an optimist I keep setting myself up again and again. Do you remember the film Pollyanna? Even she has her limits. Sometimes I think we have to give the cold shoulder (as hard as it is) to make a statement. It's important to nurture ourselves. I'm praying that Thanksgiving dinner this year is going to be peaceful because last year I stormed out. lol