Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Farewell MIA

The entire month of October was a mismatch of joy and heartbreak.  My son came home from Afghanistan.  Got to meet his new baby girl Mackayla for the first time.  He was reunited with him wife and children and  all seemed to be right with the world.   I was very relieved and great joy washed over me to know my baby had made it home again safe from the war again.  Then by that same weekend my  heart broke in two.  I was reading facebook and one of the post read, please pray for my granddaughter  and her friends who were hit by a car last night and is fighting for their lives. I stopped cold and read it again because someone is always asking for prayers.   I work with Mia’s grandmother Cecie and used to work with her grandfather Howard.  They are wonderful people and did not deserve this horrendous suffering  that was thrown upon them.    Mia  and her friends were in the crosswalk coming home from the park with her big sister. It was horrible accident and the woman driving was very careless.  Once she hit the girls she did not stop for 50 yards ( that is half a football field) .  These little five and six year old girls did not deserve this.  Mia suffered many injuries and her little body could not sustain and hang onto life any longer and she went to be with the lord on October 24, 2011.    Even though Mia was not my flesh and blood it did not stop me from loving her and caring about her like she was one of my own.   Last week we laid little Mia fragile body to rest.  I know in my heart she is sitting next to God helping him teach all the new angels flying lesson cause that’s just the way she was.  Sassy, bossy and full of life, nit meet anyone who was not her friend.   God Bless you little Mia I feel safe knowing you are watching over us all.  You will always be beautiful and young and full of spirit.   You will always live in our hearts.  
Dedicated to Amelia Paige Decker  November 30, 2004 – October  24, 2011.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I am writing this post tonight with a  very heavy heart.   Two very dear friends are sitting at the UMC  Children’s hospital  watching vigilance over their 6 year old grandchild that was hit by a car on Friday night.  She is only 6 years old and is very critical condition along with two other girls her age.  They were walking home with her from the park they were  in the crosswalk crossing the street and a 78 year old lady pulls around the  stopped car and plow into the  three young girls while the two older girls watched.   I cannot imagine how her sister feels watching her younger sister getting hit by that car and now knowing  she might not live thru the night. 
I look at the week I have had with my own personal heath issue and nothing can be as bad as this.  Just holding on to every ounce of hope and praying that there will be a miracle.  Please keep this family in your prayers. And pray for a miracle.  

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I can’t concentrate on anything I think I am going insane.

It has been one of those week were I have tried to look at others for my own happiness.  I have to stop and remember that I can only make me happy.  Once I am happy I can enjoy the happiness of others.  This menopause sucks.  It has my heart, my head and my body standing on edge.   Most of the time I feel like I’ve got a lighted match under my skin.    I cry at the drop of a hat and my head is somewhere other than on my shoulders, I am afraid to bend over to see if that’s where is gone.  It is driving me crazy, put the covers on, kick the cover off, turn on the ceiling fan, turn off the ceiling fan.   Wake up in the night ringing wet, get up and change clothes. Good thinks I have lots of jammies.    Look at babies  and start to cry cause  my babies aren’t babies anymore. My head is everywhere except where it should be. I love to do art but can’t see to focus.   Can’t sit still, hard to concentrate at work , hard to sit still but don’t have the energy to do anything  other than just sit around.  Sometimes I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin.  Now that I have put this on paper I am thinking maybe I need to go see a professional.  Oh yeah I did and what did she say you are in MENOPAUSE… IT WILL PASS… I want to know when because I’ve forgotten how to laugh at myself.    And laughter is the best medicine and of course an apple a day.   

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A New Month and a New Attitude

Hi - It’s a new month and I am hoping this one will be happy, busy and creative.  I am looking forward to my son coming home from Afghanistan sometime this month.  I won’t get to see him until Christmas time but at least he will be back on American soil.    I have been doing really pretty well with my swaps.   I have completed 4 and had all ratings of fives and hearts (which is the top rating) on all of them.    I am very excited about that.   I am looking forward to a round robin mixed media book that I have gotten involved with.  I have picked a vintage theme for my book.   My first page has to be sent out by October 12, 2011 and that is pretty exciting.  I hope I can be as equally inspirational and creative as my fellow participants.  I am also getting ready for a craft fair I am doing with a friend, I am very excited about that and hopefully it will go well.   My other friend is going to come over on Friday and we are going to have a craft day so that should be fun.  I am in need of some laughter   in my life.  I think life is way to short not to have fun and be kind and loving to each other.  So on that note - Love you all thanks for stopping by and please follow my blog if you don’t already.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Smiling and Life is Good

My mood has changed and I am so excited.  I received  three orders  for a total of 6  of my  greeting cards.  I have just recently started to make cards and this is the first time selling them.  I brought them to work yesterday to get  opinions and when I came to work today I was asked if I would make 3 birthday cards and 2 thank you cards and sympathy card.     However I am not sure what I should charge for these cards.   I ended up charging between 3.00 and 5.00 depending on the embellishment  I put into each card.   I would like to do some for the upcoming craft show .  But still not sure about the pricing.  Don’t want to out price myself out of the game.    I am smiling again ….

Monday, September 26, 2011

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I am feeling so blue today.  I am not really sure why, I can feel the sadness creeping in my soul.   I have to work today so I will not be able to create.  Most of the time that takes the blues away and makes me feel much better.  I think it’s because I feel like I have accomplished something when I am finished.   Maybe it because it brings the joy out instead of the darkness lingering inside of me.   Have you ever heard that saying Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That is how I feel when I try to deal with my father.  I always want to say ,  you would give the shirt off your back for a stranger but wouldn’t  do anything  to help your own family.  I just don’t understand it.    But every time I think I will get a different reaction and I just keep disappointing myself.   After 56 years you would think I would learn.  But instead I set myself up for the rejection.  Now I have to wonder if there is something wrong with me or is the other person????  I’d be happy to hear any thoughts or comments on this subject.    

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Bubble Has Been Burst

My bubble has been burst.  I was so happy to find places to swap.  I have encountered some very rude and unfriendly people on Split Coast Stampers website.    I have tried to join a few groups and get no reply.  I have also joined one and then found out I was not eligible to join a swap because I was a “newbie”.  However, the hostess of the swap has been very gracious and helpful in trying to help me find my way on this site.    I have found a few other sites that seem to be friendlier but they still have strict rules about being rated before you can swap.  If you are not allowed to swap, then how, on earth can you can get rated.   I was under the impression that everyone had to be new at one point or another.  No, I will not die if I cannot do a swap.  I thought it would be really fun to create and get something traded and compare the different techniques of how things are done.  But most of all I was looking forward to sharing and bonding with other crafters and artist.   I think that is all I have to say on this subject, except I am sad, but I will get over it as this too shall pass.  Thanks for listening to me and hope to see you again soon…..

Sunday, September 18, 2011

My Inspiration Has Returned

It happened on Saturday at 12:05 am my inspiration returned home safely after being gone for 9 days.  I have never been happier to see anyone except Erik when he came home from Iraq the last time.  I am very glad to say I have found my inspiration.  Created several things yesterday and feel very grateful and relieved that my inspiration has returned to me.   I was lost in the water last week.   I can now attempt to continue working on my upcoming Doodlebug craft fair I am doing with my friend. 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Flower Power

I am now a Swapper

I am so excited I have joined a group called, Swap-Bot,   where I can do some projects and get into swapping some art with others.   I have signed up for two swaps so far one is a Halloween ATC and a TP (toilet paper) tube fall project.  I can hardly wait to get started.   I can feel the creative juices flowing.   This has been quite the week.  My inspiration (my hubby Rob) will be home tomorrow night and I can hardly wait, he has been gone 8 days.  After thirty eight years you would think I wouldn’t be this excited.  But I really have missed him and can’t wait for him to get home to me.  Plus I know the dogs have missed him too, as he is the treat giver and I have been a little lax on those this week.  Thanks for sharing in my excitement and I will be post pictures of what I have sent for my swaps as I get them done.  I will be talking to you again soon….

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Could Rob be the inspiration I am missing?

My husband Rob is driving our daughter in law and two grandchildren to New York from Kansas this week to get the house ready for when my son Erik comes home from Afghanistan. I don’t mind being alone.  I had loads of plans I was going to create, create but I am blank.  Nothing is coming to my heart to create.  As I am new at this art thing, I would think I would have millions of ideas floating in my mind.  But nothing… Where do you go for inspiration?  Pray I thought I would ask God to help me with finding my inspiration.  But still nothing, but today is not over and I still have time.  Hopefully I will find my way ………  But I think my inspiration will be back on Friday my love of 38 years. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Am I an Artist or a Wanna be??

I know that some people say to be an artist you must have sold some of your work.  I am not sure if I could call myself an artist.  I tinker with mixed media projects, and make beautiful lighted wine bottles.  All these creations come from my heart and soul.   When I do a project I feel it, it seems to come from deep within me.  I can visualize the colors and the theme.  I read once, I think it was Rice Freeman –Zachary who said  “ that you need to just express yourself and not over think your project”.  I have tried to follow that advice and it seems to work most of the time for me.  When I first started to create I would keep adding and making changes and when I was finished I never really liked it anymore. Now I seem to see it, do it and leave it alone.   I look at the very first art journal I did and see the simplicity of each page.  Now I look at the most recent art journal I finished and I see the beauty I have been able to find in the colors and textures I use.  It makes me feel good about myself and I hope that other who see it and get that same over all good feeling too.  Thanks for stopping by….

Monday, August 29, 2011


As I sat here trying to figure out what I wanted to write on my blog, I suddenly started to laugh.  I thought about laughter being the best medicine.   A laugh a day keeps the doctor away.  Something like that anyway… or is that an apple a day? I started to think about things that kids say.
The week before my birthday, I was feeling sad as my oldest son and his family had left to move back to Kenosha, WI and my youngest son is over in Afghanistan, and his family is in Kansas.  I was feeling kind of lonely and sad, starting to realize I am not getting any younger.  My husband and I and our dear friends Lee and Carlanda went to a comedy show at the Golden Nugget, in downtown Las Vegas.  We saw Gordie Brown and   I laughed for almost an hour and half.   That is just what I needed.  I felt much better, and as I said before, laughter IS the best medicine.
My 24 year old  son Erik, who is an Army soldier,  is having a discussion with his new bride and tells her that he gets the side of the bed away from the closet.  Jen looks at him with a question mark and Erik states, "I don’t want the closet monster to get me".  Jen just laughs and says well after he gets me,  your're next. 
My nephew Jack is quite the character.  He loved teddy bears.  When he was about four years old my sister Joie and Jack were at Build a Bear  looking at Halloween costumes for his bears.  Jack looks at her after picking out several costumes for his bears and is ready to go pay.  Of course if you have ever been to Build a Bear, each costume costs about  10.00 each.  Joie said let’s go home and see what bears you are going to take trick or treating and  Jack gets this serious look on his face and says  “ Are you going to tell the others they can’t go.”  
I still think my favorite Jack story is the one about the time they were at church.  The minister's entire sermon was on walking Jesus' way or Satan’s way.  At the end of the service the minister says which way will you be following this week, Jesus or Satan?   Jack looks at his mother and says "I am going to follow Satan’s way, what about you mom"?  After the minister finally got the laughter settled down, he said maybe we should start this sermon over.   Of course my sister wanted to crawl under the seat.
I hope I did the Jack stories justice.

Sunday, August 28, 2011


Everything we think and feel is creating our future. ''To gain happiness, you must learn to enjoy that which you have. It is not how much you have. It is what we think about that which we have that produces happiness. In building a happy, contented life, you must give happiness to others.
I took this from my friend Honey’s Facebook post.  I find her quotes and affirmations very comforting. 

It made me stop and think about my life and what I have and what I give away.  I am not talking about giving away material  things.   I am referring to giving of myself to others.  I try to be helpful to others and to do the right thing.   I have a few friends and allot of acquaintances.  I hold my friends true to my heart as they are far and few between.   I learned al long time ago you have to be a friend to have a friend.   What is a good friend you ask?  My definition of being a friend is being there to listen when they need an ear, to hold their hand when they are fearful, to cry with them when they are sad.  But most of all to laugh even when it’s not funny because sometimes you just have to have a laugh to make it all go away.    

I have different categories of friends, I have work friends who make my days fly by as we do our work and  laugh and joke to make the week and the stress go by .  I have wonderful facebook friends whom I have never met but feel a connection with.    They always give me a lift and a laugh.  I have childhood friends who I keep in touch with but hardly ever see , because we are spread all over the place.  I have deep down soul friends who I know I can tell anything and everything and it will never be told to another living sole.  I love these friends like they are family, maybe more that family.    I think the friends in my life know who you are  without  being  named one by one.  I love and care about all of you. 

Thanks for letting me ramble on...... Until next time. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


As I was driving to work this morning, down the highways of  bended fenders and broken tail lights, changing lanes; I started to wonder what others in their cars  around me are thinking.  Were they just spaced out as I was just trying to get to work on time and safely or were they chatting on their cell phones?   As I was driving and observing my surroundings,   I realized my exit is almost upon me.  I start to change lanes and the car  behind  me speeds up.  Once I get in front of  him, I still need to go over one more lane, he pull right out and cuts me off , so I can’t get in the lane I need to get to the off ramp.   So I decided to give  him the middle finger salute and then I stopped myself,  Thinking why not just let it go and not start my day off  aggravated  and upset.  I think if more of us would stop and say to ourselves how important will this be a year from now.  We might let the little things in life go.   I am sure on August 23, 2012, I will not remember that man in the white car.    
So I think my affirmation will be live and let live and be kind to others.  Although, sometimes, that can be hard to do, as I work in the complaint department at a very large timeshare company.  We get all the complaints, that go to our upper management some that are really legitimate and others not so much, like the time we got a letter stating he was upset that there was not enough chocolate icing on his ├ęclair. 
All I can say is that each and every one of us is unique in our own way and that’s okay. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Lend me your ear

If I were to write a blog what would I say…..
That is the question that comes to my mind.  My friend  Carlanda  is always encouraging me to step up and speak my mind.  I always tell her what do I have to say that anybody wants to hear.   Sure I am just like everybody else I have my opinions.   But they are just that, my opinions, everybody has one or two or a million.   I like to talk just as much as the next guy.  But having something worthwhile to say , for others to want to lean an ear and listen or even repeat it.    Nah  I got nothing to say….  Or do I stay tuned for the next edition….